The number one thing on my personal wish list right now is a Cage. I used to have one, a kennel made for dogs weighing up to 70 lbs, and while it is not exactly long enough, and not exactly tall enough for a human being, I must admit that there was something about being relegated to it for a few minutes, an hour, or even all night that gave me great and uncommon COMFORT.
I think the comfort part is the reason that my current Master doesn't rush to give me the order to get one, or perhaps I haven't earned that much of a reward yet, or maybe He just doesn't want to give me something which isn't geared toward personal growth...?
Which brings me to my question to you:
As a submissive, do you ask for things that might be for your own pleasure?
GOD I LOVE CAGES...I hope that I can have one soon.
PS: I'll post a picture if I do!
Peace & Love
-babydoll
Breaking Down Walls
(2)
In the beginning of ones exploration within a D/s lifestyle, many people begin to break down the conditioning and mental blocks that they have received from family and society, and will often find themselves opening to new, more eccentric ideas of what they may or may not want from a relationship, however, conditioning is a very powerful, deeply rooted thing within our psyche, and to open to what seems to be a more radical approach to things without questioning oneself, would be fairly impossible. In other words, don't ever be afraid to question or to look for answers, for it is through these things that help us to learn and to feel confident in our decisions!
When I first started to break down my walls, I was really wondering about my sanity and had tons of self questions to find answers too like: What is it about me, dating a man who also lives with his female life partner and is free to DO whomever and whatever he wants in between, that I would find so incurably intriguing? And why is the prospect of being taught, mentored, trained or even controlled by that same man a thought that turns my insides into a hot, trembling, wanting lust that I have seldom felt in other circumstances? How could the brooding, painful suffering of tedious self analysis to work through fear, jealousy and some not-so-subtle blows to the ego become this crazy spiritual epiphany of which I have never reached before? Why do two totally opposite feelings, such as pain and pleasure, have that fine line that starts to smudge and gray into a feeling of “vibrating at a higher level”? And, why on earth do so many thousands of people around the globe share, in some way or another, the same sort of thoughts on this kind of lifestyle? What is it about D/s that is making ultra excited, uncontrollably passionate, seriously enlightened and even completely evolved lovers and partners out of the ones who practice it? Why is being in the toughest, most frustrating and complex (albeit sometimes mind blowing and miraculous) type of relationship the ONLY kind of relationship that I crave to be in...even though it goes against what I've envisioned of romantic love?
Well perhaps the answers are in the process.
I want to walk you through the process of becoming, as well as being a Dominant or submissive, as I have experienced it, and perhaps together we can begin to understand just a little bit more about our own all- powerful sexuality and about the many levels of our incredibly beautiful human nature. After all, if we can master ourselves, and understand why we need what we need, aren't we then so much more able to master our relationships with others?
In the beginning of ones exploration within a D/s lifestyle, many people begin to break down the conditioning and mental blocks that they have received from family and society, and will often find themselves opening to new, more eccentric ideas of what they may or may not want from a relationship, however, conditioning is a very powerful, deeply rooted thing within our psyche, and to open to what seems to be a more radical approach to things without questioning oneself, would be fairly impossible. In other words, don't ever be afraid to question or to look for answers, for it is through these things that help us to learn and to feel confident in our decisions!
When I first started to break down my walls, I was really wondering about my sanity and had tons of self questions to find answers too like: What is it about me, dating a man who also lives with his female life partner and is free to DO whomever and whatever he wants in between, that I would find so incurably intriguing? And why is the prospect of being taught, mentored, trained or even controlled by that same man a thought that turns my insides into a hot, trembling, wanting lust that I have seldom felt in other circumstances? How could the brooding, painful suffering of tedious self analysis to work through fear, jealousy and some not-so-subtle blows to the ego become this crazy spiritual epiphany of which I have never reached before? Why do two totally opposite feelings, such as pain and pleasure, have that fine line that starts to smudge and gray into a feeling of “vibrating at a higher level”? And, why on earth do so many thousands of people around the globe share, in some way or another, the same sort of thoughts on this kind of lifestyle? What is it about D/s that is making ultra excited, uncontrollably passionate, seriously enlightened and even completely evolved lovers and partners out of the ones who practice it? Why is being in the toughest, most frustrating and complex (albeit sometimes mind blowing and miraculous) type of relationship the ONLY kind of relationship that I crave to be in...even though it goes against what I've envisioned of romantic love?
Well perhaps the answers are in the process.
I want to walk you through the process of becoming, as well as being a Dominant or submissive, as I have experienced it, and perhaps together we can begin to understand just a little bit more about our own all- powerful sexuality and about the many levels of our incredibly beautiful human nature. After all, if we can master ourselves, and understand why we need what we need, aren't we then so much more able to master our relationships with others?
Unconscious D/s
(1)
Those who understand others are intelligent
Those who understand themselves are enlightened
-Tao Te Ching
If you are reading this than you may be wondering if Dominance and submission is right for you, or, you may be wondering why anyone in their right mind would actively CHOOSE to participate in such a digressive pursuit, but either way I must start out by telling you that if you are in a relationship right now then you are practicing some form of Dominance and submission right now! You see, the concept of D/s is based, not on uncommon and extreme sexual tendencies, but on primal human instinct, human nature, human sexuality and the human mind. So logically, if one is A) human and B) in a relationship, then nature dictates that there will be one who is more Dominant and another more subservient.
With that said, one real differences between those who consciously participate in D/s and those who do not is...consent. And while that is simply one thing which separates us, consent is one of the most important and fundamental rules of a D/s lifestyle and something that we will talk a lot about in the following pages.
For now though, a great example of someone who is unconsciously practicing D/s is an old friend of mine (I'll call her Tracy to keep her privacy) who was married, and had been for a long time, to a man that she totally controlled. She was also in a position of control in her career and was very well known to be, for lack of a better phrase, a bad ass bitch. Needless to say, she was NEVER happy with her husband, always complaining about how she has to do everything, etc. etc. and I can guarantee you, that poor man did not have one ounce of power over Tracy and never, ever could as far as anyone on the outside could see. So anyway, we were having lunch and she was sort of gossiping about her lover... an older gent with a position in the company which was Superior to hers. She was talking about how amazing it was to be so in love, and for so long to this same man, whom she called, “the love of her life.” She then said that she kind of felt sorry for her husband because of the way that she treated him and that she had no idea why but would never dream of speaking to the love of her life in a such a way! I laughed softly for a second and said to her, “you don't talk to the love of your life that way because you know damn well that he would never stand for it, and that is what turns you on so much, and that is why the intense attraction doesn't seem to fade like all of the others but almost increases as the years go by.”
I kid you not, the realization that came across her face was like a lightening bolt and she was almost moved to tears by it. It was as if she finally solved some long lost mystery and could finally close the case!
I must admit that it was a learning moment for me too, for it was in that moment that I realized that D/s is in every person and in every day lessons, and until I started to think of it in those, more simplistic, terms I would not be able to experience D/s at the depths that I longed to.
Those who understand others are intelligent
Those who understand themselves are enlightened
-Tao Te Ching
If you are reading this than you may be wondering if Dominance and submission is right for you, or, you may be wondering why anyone in their right mind would actively CHOOSE to participate in such a digressive pursuit, but either way I must start out by telling you that if you are in a relationship right now then you are practicing some form of Dominance and submission right now! You see, the concept of D/s is based, not on uncommon and extreme sexual tendencies, but on primal human instinct, human nature, human sexuality and the human mind. So logically, if one is A) human and B) in a relationship, then nature dictates that there will be one who is more Dominant and another more subservient.
With that said, one real differences between those who consciously participate in D/s and those who do not is...consent. And while that is simply one thing which separates us, consent is one of the most important and fundamental rules of a D/s lifestyle and something that we will talk a lot about in the following pages.
For now though, a great example of someone who is unconsciously practicing D/s is an old friend of mine (I'll call her Tracy to keep her privacy) who was married, and had been for a long time, to a man that she totally controlled. She was also in a position of control in her career and was very well known to be, for lack of a better phrase, a bad ass bitch. Needless to say, she was NEVER happy with her husband, always complaining about how she has to do everything, etc. etc. and I can guarantee you, that poor man did not have one ounce of power over Tracy and never, ever could as far as anyone on the outside could see. So anyway, we were having lunch and she was sort of gossiping about her lover... an older gent with a position in the company which was Superior to hers. She was talking about how amazing it was to be so in love, and for so long to this same man, whom she called, “the love of her life.” She then said that she kind of felt sorry for her husband because of the way that she treated him and that she had no idea why but would never dream of speaking to the love of her life in a such a way! I laughed softly for a second and said to her, “you don't talk to the love of your life that way because you know damn well that he would never stand for it, and that is what turns you on so much, and that is why the intense attraction doesn't seem to fade like all of the others but almost increases as the years go by.”
I kid you not, the realization that came across her face was like a lightening bolt and she was almost moved to tears by it. It was as if she finally solved some long lost mystery and could finally close the case!
I must admit that it was a learning moment for me too, for it was in that moment that I realized that D/s is in every person and in every day lessons, and until I started to think of it in those, more simplistic, terms I would not be able to experience D/s at the depths that I longed to.
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