When I set out to gain experience, as a new submissive, I was overwhlemed by the physical reaction that I had to gaining knowledge of the lifestyle. Very quickly I entered in to a state of virtually constant arousal, of heightened senses. My flesh registered a reaction to every fabric, my eyes seemed to view colors and shapes in a totally new way and even the words and phrases that I had used for years started to take on new meaning.
This arousal phase was followed by the experience of "connecting" with someone in such a deeply intellectual way that it became like a spiritual awakening. Over a period of months and on a daily basis, I communicated with him, being guided each moment of the way. A connection as profound as that, in my own experience, can bring one to a state that I now refer to as, "vibrating at a higher level." Back then, I called it, "feeling hypnotized."
But whatever the name of this state of being, the accomplishment of it and ability to sustain it, almost 24/7, has become the core basis of my personal D/s, M/s existence:
"It's the way it makes Us feel."
Please note that I am referring to both an Owner/Master and submissive/slave being elevated like this...within the relationship.
It is in this state that I feel like I am living to my fullest potential, as a woman, mother, friend, lover, employee, slave. It is in this state that I can truly serve, with my whole heart and soul and it is also in this state that I feel that I can tap in to my full creative, beauty and sexual potential.
It's the "glow", the "look" and the "peace".
So what are the elements for vibrating at this level and maintaining this state of mind as much of the time as possible?
Keeping in mind that we are all different, I have outlined some of the techniques that I have either tried or would like to try.
For me, it's all about Focus...and one way to remain focused is to include habits, disciplines and/or ritual in my day to day life.
Please take a look at the list and let me know your thoughts and/or ideas.
A) Arousal/ Sexual Frustration or the feeling of never quite being satisfied. (I am sure that most of you have experience with this one!) Some great ways to accomplish this include reading and/or writing erotica, net surfing BDSM sites with stories and essays that excite you. Bringing yourself to the edge throughout the day..and whatever other creative things that your wonderful Owner no doubt think up!
B) Meditation. This is a new one for me over the last few months and has become a ritual. In your chosen space... kneel naked, and spend at least 20 mins in the calm places of your mind. Focus only on your breath (which will be hard at first). Don't judge yourself and stay positive - it gets easier over time to concentrate (on nothing).
C) Journal.
D) Tasks given to you by your Owner, especially daily, repetitive one's.
E) Using specific words or phrases given to you by your Owner.
F) Dressing, jewelry or other special item or reminder, such as writing somewhere on your body or a flower in your hair.
Whether great or small, daily rituals/routines are a great way to keep the focus on the relationship. A ritual can include bathing or grooming, conversation, serving in any way, any form of sex or play, cooking/eating and on and on and on.
I really look forward to hearing your own experiences on submissive ritual.
-kyuuri
