Shortly after my son was born I realized that I had never experienced unconditional love. In fact, it wasn't until I was graced with the overwhelming, all-consuming emotion that a mother feels for her child, that I even knew such a thing existed.
So while I am fully certain that I can and DO love some people in my life unconditionally, I am not as certain that I truly comprehend the implications of an "unconditional" relationship.
I consulted Websters first, just to get a clear and precise picture of the word:
1. Not limited by conditions; absolute.
2. Not contingent; not determined or influenced by someone or something else
as in an unconditional surrender.
On the surface this seems totally straight forward. Simply live and let live, don't expect anything and fully enjoy each person in your life, at the time that you are with them.
Simple...but...not always easy.
It also implies that the relationship would be totally open, each person remaining autonomous yet, coming together at some point to share their lives in whatever way they determine.
Am I getting closer?
It means that you never have to become a "couple", acting and living as if two people are only one person.
Issues still come up and would have to addressed but those issues are separate from the unconditional part. Those issues would be issues no matter what.
So then, does it just come down to monogamy, marriage and/or tradition?
Does the part of the "unconditional" that I struggle with have anything to do with preconceived notions about love and relationships, or insecurity about non-monogamy, or feeling that "I" am not getting enough attention or time with my partner?
Hmmm... it seems I have understood the concept of an unconditional relationship the entire time.
Dealing with all of this other programming is the real issue.
Great...
-pia
